Who Are We…..Really?

04 Feb Who Are We…..Really?

It was about fourteen years ago I remember thinking extensively about what it is we want in life and how we navigate all the funk. I would sit for hours trying to put into words the sentiment I could feel in my body and see in my mind: finding our True Self. I was alluding to the fact (or is it a feeling?) that many of us have a sense of, that life pulls us in all sorts of directions, physically, mentally and emotionally and yet there is this core Self that never goes away that is the central embodiment of who we really are. As I learn more about an approach called Internal Family Systems defined/created by Dr.Dick Schwartz, it surprises me how the basis of his model mirrors what I felt for myself all those years ago.

The True Self to me is what spiritually minded folk might call higher self or even god, but for me it is more embodied than that. It’s a part that is in all of us but can become blended or temporarily obscured by other parts of us that get stuck in a role due to some kind of trauma or even beliefs that gets created, normally when we are younger. These other parts are either there to protect us or are vulnerable, wounded parts that we subconsciously hide away for fear of rejection or some other frightening fate.

Our True Self has insight, is compassionate and is about wholeness and connection. We know when we are embodying our True Self when these characteristics come through us. It isn’t always easy to access True Self, and when we are “triggered” it tends to be our other parts that make an appearance – but this is not to be seen as a bad thing, we can be understanding and compassionate towards these parts.

The biggest take away here is that we are not just one mind, one emotion. We can understand ourselves as parts, and when we are feeling overwhelmed, sad, frightened, angry or anything else that seems to be who we are and feels consuming, we can realise that this is just a part of us and not who we are; our True Self is always present in us.